They did the EP study on my heart and decided to make burns in 3 of the 4 chambers of my heart. Had me concerned because they said it was getting really close to the point my heart would require an implanted pacemaker to be able to beat. Procedure lasted about 5 ½ hours and the doctors were pleased with how it went, no pacemaker required (and I was totally out this time, they made sure of that.) But in the recovery room I started having problems and heart beat started getting erratic. Back in I go and they found the muscle sac around my heart, pericardium, was filling up with too much fluid. Stuck a needle into my chest to draw some fluid off and ease to pressure it was causing on my heart (not fun at all as I was awake for that) and started watching it to see how fast it was filling again. It was filling very fast so they put me back under and put in a drain tube in the center of my chest to allow it to drain while they used drugs to try to get it under control. Next 24 hours were kind of a blur as they had to keep me drugged up from the pain of the drain tube in my chest but they got it under control with drugs and took the chest tube out. Had one incident when I went into v-tac and set off all of the alarms causing everybody to come running (what this was supposed to fix) and after looking at the recordings decided it was probably because the burns inside my heart had not healed yet so will wait and see.

Got out of the hospital on Friday afternoon and was told to go rest and sleep a lot. And that I was going to run a fever for a few days (side effect from the stuff done inside my heart.) They had that one right, too tired and weak to do anything but sleep and nap for the rest of that day and all day yesterday. Feeling a bit better today but only been up for 2 hours so we'll see how long that lasts.

I'm told that it will take 7 to 10 days for the burns to heal enough for them to be able to tell if this works so I go back for more testing late next week. So it's back to waiting again.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/raymigration.asp

Photographs show a mass migration of rays in the Gulf of Mexico.

After spending a whole day working on English grammar, there's nothing more pleasant than finding a nice surprise like this one... And once again by my lovely friend on dA. :D (It makes me feel even more to be done with those Agrégation oral exams, so that I can finally go back to drawing—more specifically, on the pictures I still owe to a few people.)

This is Sarah Valentine from Shadow Nexus (normal world version), weaving her magic in her Bedlam cell.
So. Frigging. Fitting.

A wall cloud moved in on us from the west about dawn. With the morning sunrise shining on it, there was a rainbow in the foreground with a red-gold and gray backdrop. And more lightning than I've ever seen at one time.

It was beautiful, not quite lightning in a snowstorm beautiful, but something I'll remember, like the storm I saw in the desert when I was driving back from California in 2007. The highyway was long and straight and disappeared off into the distance, but it was dropping as I came over the rise, and there was a thunderstorm over a small town in the distance. It looked like you could reach out and hold it in your hand, like a storm in a snowglobe.

Anyhow - the sky is that washed-out olive-drab green that you're supposed to fear, but I don't think it's warm enough for a tornado.

In other news, I just ate too many cupcakes too soon after supper. They sucked, just for the record. I really need to start shopping somewhere other than Wal*Mart. Apparently some stuff that you'd think were exactly the same thing in every store aren't, they use cheaper ingredients and whatnot to meet Wal*Mart's price point.

The soccer-mom store is closer, but I sort of like being able to get everything I need in one fell swoop. Also, middle-class people sort of skeeve me out. I'm poor white trash right down to my DNA. And I can't help but wonder what the useless, fancy displays add to the cost of my groceries, heh.

Still waiting on the bank lady to get back to me with the final word on what I could get as a home loan. She's already said she could get me what I asked for, but she wants to give me a few other options that are apparently time consuming because the person she needs to speak with is swamped. The house I'd sort of had my eye on is apparently gone, so I'm not in a huge rush I guess.

It was a couple of blocks off the interstate and had almost no yard, but it was pretty nice. Marble this and stone that and fancy mouldings and blah blah. Nice neighborhood, a lot of pools in the neighbor's yards. And they were selling the furniture along with it, and speaking as a bachelor with no furniture and no taste? That's quite a bonus.

A couple of years ago I was worried about being homeless. Now I'm butthurt because I couldn't put my theater together or get a house now now now. I'm ashamed of myself, honestly. Real, red-faced stare at your shoes shame.

I think a lot of my recent grump comes from my lack of retail therapy. And my surroundings.

This is a house, and it's a box to keep my stuff in. That's all it needs to be. It's not ideal for my situation, I need a larger room for an office. It's not ideally located, I want to walk up the street and set half a dozen doctors on fire every few days. It's not fancy, it's not comfortable, and it's just not a home to me, but I should be okay with it.

I guess I get up and go to work and spend 16 hours in this one chair in this one room and work until I hurt too much or my eyes are too fried to focus, then I grump about working that hard and still being stuck in this crappy house that I hate until I fall asleep. In my crappy bed.

When I should be really fucking happy to have it all.

I am becoming an awful..er person.

It's stupid of me to consider taking on more debt. My situation is still precarious. My health could fail, I could piss off my boss somehow, blah blah.

Stupid. And I'm really stupid for not being happy - or at least content - with what I have.

http://www.postsecret.com/2012/06/sunday-secrets.html

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail
in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.




































See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.






















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Amazon.com Widgets

Today we got an anti-Walker flyer from the Greater Wisconsin Political Fund saying that people who didn't vote in 2010 are the reason Scott Walker was elected. It also contains my husband's name and address and whether he voted in the last two elections, and the same information on many of our neighbors. The flyer tells our neighbors to encourage the people listed to vote in the recall this Tuesday.

This strikes me as creepy and inappropriate. Out neighbors are being told to harass my husband/our neighbors about their previous voting (or lack thereof). Frankly it's nobody's business. It strikes me as an attempt to intimidate us into voting (which we would have done anyway!). It makes me angry.

It's also very counterproductive as it makes me mad at the recall-seekers who sent me the flyer. At least Scott Walker never told my neighbors to harass my husband about his private decisions.

We have contacted both the Greater Wisconsin Political Fund and the fund's president to express our displeasure.

Edited to add the text of the actual mailing:

"Dear registered voter:

Scott Walker won in 2010 because too many people stayed home! Two years ago, more than half a million Wisconsinites who supported Obama failed to vote in the 2010 election. And that's how Governor Scott Walker got elected. This year, we're taking a new approach. We're sending this mailing to you and your neighbors to publicize who does and does not vote.

The chart shows the names of some of your neighbors, showing which have voted in the past. Look at the list below: are there neighbors on the list you know? Call them or knock on their door before Election day and ask them to go vote on Tuesday June 5th.

After the June 5th election, public records will tell everyone who voted and who didn't.

Do your civic duty - vote and remind your neighbors to vote."

Forgive me if I stare
I adore your long red hair
It's so sexy, it blows my mind.

Whether bouncing in a ponytail for fun
Or tied back neatly in a rolled up bun
It's so sexy, it blows my mind.

The color of dark crimson red
So gorgeous upon your head
It's so sexy, it blows my mind.

With fringe draped heavily across one eye
Or pinned up neat, upon your head so high
It's so sexy, it blows my mind.

Whether in waves of spirals curled
Or let loose in straight lengths unfurled
It's so sexy, it blows my mind.

In plaits of lengths unbroken
Raise desire within me yet unspoken
It's so sexy, it blows my mind.

Past your shoulders like a thick silk cape
My desires to caress I can nay escape
It's so sexy, it blows my mind.

With but a move of your head, or the twist of a finger
I'm caught like a deer, with my gaze left to linger
It's so sexy, it blows my mind.

With your hair, you know just how to tease
Since I've shorn my own, for you, to please
YOU'RE so sexy, YOU blow my mind.